My pregnancy has been so hard on me, so hard in fact that I have taken off work and school. I only work once a week and I only take one class, which is choir at 3:00 in the afternoon. So I have lots of free time. Not all that time is welcomed, appreciated, or planned for but it does still happen. It was really hard for me until recently. I am such a fast moving person that being stuck at home with my back hurting too badly to move or my stomach being so upset that it was all I could do to just drink water for the day, really took me down emotionally. I didn't feel like I was being helpful or productive in any way. Showering felt like a chore and standing long enough to cook meals was even harder. I felt like I was just...there. I cried a lot, I complained and tried to be mad at other things for my situation at the time. One day, I was just so bad, so angry, so frustrated at everything that I just snapped and the backlash was harsh. I wrote a journal entry on my computer and left it open for Scott to read. When I came home, we talked and he told me some ideas of things that could help me feel more productive, even in the state of which I am in. Reason number five million of why I love that man. Even though he doesn't have much way of understanding how I feel, he can see that I am hurting in a lot of different ways and still find solutions to help solve it.
So here I am, about a week after that huge blow-up day and I feel a lot better. My mood has seriously improved and even though I am still in a lot of pain almost all the time, I find things to keep my mind focused elsewhere. I still feel unproductive at times, but it's getting a lot better. So what changed? What am I doing as a broken down pregnant lady? Well, mainly it's been three things.
- Working on promoting my photography business...which by the way, you should check out here:
- Keeping ahead of the laundry. That's harder for me because it requires a lot of bending over and such, but I get it in the washer, switch it over to the dryer, and by the time that's dry and done Scott is home and pulls it out for me.
- Cleaning our nursery room and thinking of ways we can make it special for our little girl. I've had some good luck with my mother who has been so very helpful in suggesting what types of furniture we can buy to help utilize our space. As well as my sister-in-law who is so happy and willing to share her ideas of how we can decorate the walls.
Plus, I have a whole list of things still that I haven't yet started working on, so I've kept my mind busy and kept my body moving as best and most as I can and still have more options!
Even though it may take me all day to do two loads of laundry, or even though I may still stay sitting in bed or on the couch after I shower and just look at ideas and things to do around the nursery, I'm busier and I'm happier. The pace is a lot slower than I am used to and the fact that I'm still not able to as much as I used to, I don't have (much of) anything to complain about anymore. It took me six months to realize that I can be productive in the smallest of ways and still feel important, but that doesn't matter. It may not be a lot, but it's something. With the help of my wonderful, loving husband, I figured it out and I just gotta Keep Moving Forward.
Even though it may take me all day to do two loads of laundry, or even though I may still stay sitting in bed or on the couch after I shower and just look at ideas and things to do around the nursery, I'm busier and I'm happier. The pace is a lot slower than I am used to and the fact that I'm still not able to as much as I used to, I don't have (much of) anything to complain about anymore. It took me six months to realize that I can be productive in the smallest of ways and still feel important, but that doesn't matter. It may not be a lot, but it's something. With the help of my wonderful, loving husband, I figured it out and I just gotta Keep Moving Forward.
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