Reaching my Birth Mother

WOW!  This is such an awesome thing and I am SO excited to be able to share with all of you the story.  You all know where I left off.  I had called a phone number and left a voicemail.  About two weeks ago, around September 24th, I decided I was going to try one more thing.  I looked up the most recent email listed in the file that I had on my birth mother and I wrote another letter to her and I sent it.  It was like 12:30 in the morning when I sent it.  I told myself, "Ok, I have tried everything listed here and if I don't reach her, that just must be it."

All of this past week, however, I just felt like I wasn't done.  I kept having dreams about being on the phone with my older sister, whom I have always known about as she was talked about in my adoption files.  In the dreams, my sister and I were talking and laughing and it was through her that I was able to get in touch with my birth mom.  Last night, I had the same dream.  So I woke up this morning, October 5th, 2017, and I just said, "Fine!  Fine, I will try and call the number listed for her."  So I did.  I expected another dead end.  The phone rang and it went to the voicemail, "Hi, this is Jackie.  Sorry I missed you, leave you name and number and I will call you back." Or something like that.  My head was spinning with thoughts.  I panicked and I hung up! "Oh my gosh.  She sounds JUST LIKE ME.  Oh my gosh, the number is real, it is really her.  This is my older sister."  I called Scott, panicked.  "JACKIE'S NUMBER IS REAL! WHAT DO I DO?"  He calmed me down and he asked, "Well, did you leave her a message?" Me, ".....Nooooo.  I panicked and hung up."  He laughed at me and told me to call her back and leave a message."  So I did.

"Hi Jackie.  My name is Hannah.  I am actually calling because I am trying to get a hold of your mom.  If you could call me back, I would really appreciate it."  And then I went upstairs to tell my mom what has been happening and let her know.  I ate my breakfast and I was getting ready to go get in the shower when my phone rang and on my screen popped up Jackie.  "Oooooooook.  So this is happening."  I answered it and Jackie explained to me that she had given her mom my contact information.  I told her thank you probably six times in a row.  It was so awkward!  I didn't know what to say!  Do I tell her that I am her adopted sister and that her mom is my birth mother?  Does she even know I exist? So I just asked her when she thought her mom might have time to talk to me.  She responded with, "Well I don't know.  I know she has work, but is this something important?  I could call her back and tell her you need to talk to her sooner."  I just kind of froze and in my head I thought, "Well.  Yes, yes this is important.  You are my sister."  I ended up telling Jackie, "Yeah.  It's just really personal and I would appreciate if she could call me when she feels she has a few minutes." Not five minutes later, my phone was ringing with an unknown number!  I yelled at my mom that "This is her!  This is it, she's calling me!" and I ran downstairs to answer it.

"Hello?"
"Hi, this is Melissa."
"Yeah, hi.  Wow.  Thank you for calling me.  I have been trying to reach you...."  my mind is just going a mile a minute!  I don't know what I am going to say.  I have dreamed of this moment for so many years, and here I was standing in that moment and at a total loss of words. "I just wanted to call you and tell you Thank you.  I'm adopted."

The tears started to flow.  Melissa started to cry, I started to cry.  She just told me, "I have been waiting for this day for years."  We talked for a long time.  I asked her questions about the adoption process and how she knew she needed to place me.  In the time we spoke, I learned that we have similar qualities and traits.  I asked if she knew that it was me when Jackie called her back to say it was important and she said that she knew.  She said that Jackie had kind of thought it was me as well.  Melissa explained that she has been open with her daughters about me and the adoption and that they have also been hoping to find me.  My mom was able to talk with Melissa for awhile as well and I think that it was good for her.  At the end of the conversation with Melissa, she had asked me if it was ok if she told my birth dad.  I told her that was fine.  I told her that I struggled with what I knew of his story for a long time, but I have moved past that and have forgiven him and that I would be ok with him knowing.  I don't know what he will do, but that alone is so much more than I expected.

I called Jackie back after I got off the phone with Melissa.  Hahaha.  She answered and I just said, "It's Hannah again.  And.....I'm your sister!"  She just screamed and told me how excited she was and that she hoped it was me and she thought it was me!  She told me that she had called our little sister, Jessie, and explained that, "I just think our sister called me but I don't know and I didn't say anything because I didn't want to scare her!"  We talked and laughed and joked about a lot.  I told her that I have always known about her, but I didn't know about Jessie until a few months ago.  Jackie told me that Melissa has been hoping and dreaming for this day for so many years.  I told Jackie that Melissa and I talked about maybe meeting up while we are out in Georgia for Christmas.  She asked me where in Georgia we were going and I told her where Scott's family lives.  She was shocked.  HER DAD LIVES A HALF AN HOUR AWAY!  She was able to call him and he is willing to open his house to Melissa, Jackie and Jessie over the Christmas break so we can all meet.  I CAN'T MAKE THIS UP!  I told Jackie that I could talk forever, but that I hadn't showered yet still (at 11:45) and that I had to leave for work.  I told her to call Jessie and give her my information and have her call me in 15 minutes. I showered so fast!  Jessie called me exactly 15 minutes later and she freaked out too. "My mom told me and I just started jumping up and down!  I couldn't believe it!" She and I also laughed and joked and talked about how crazy this whole thing is.  She told me about how every year on my birthday, they light a candle for me and how Melissa had hoped that one day I would knock on her door.  Jessie talked about how she is so excited to have two little nieces and that she is excited for me to meet her son, another nephew for me!!

By the end of my conversation with Jessie, I was at the pool to for swim team and had to go.  How could I coach these kids with all of this happening!?  Well, the kids and I did our dryland workout.  And by that, I mean I told them what exercises to do while I told them all the story (usually I do the workouts with them).  They were all so invested in it hahaha.  It was great!  I had kids raising their hands and asking questions about the story and "What happens now?" questions were asked.

After I finished work, I FINALLY got to call Scott and talk to him about all of this.  Don't worry, he knew that Melissa had called me while I was on the phone with her.  He has been such a great support through all of this.  He has encouraged me to keep trying and he has helped me to keep my head level.  I couldn't have done this without him.  Without him, my mom and my dad and so many other people.  So many of you have been praying for me, for my family and for my birth mom.  I can not thank you enough.  This is a story that has unfolded so much better than I could have ever hoped.

Throughout the rest of the day, I have been texting Melissa, Jackie and Jessie.  We have been chatting about so much; asking questions and telling stories.  I have been on the phone with family and friends telling them the news and how it has unfolded.  I just am truly without words.  I am so, so grateful for this experience.  Adoption has always been something that I am proud of.  I am proud of my story and I am grateful to be where I am.  I have never doubted that I am in the right family.  But knowing that Melissa has been so open and hoping that I would find her, it is just incredible.  It is a blessing.  I am excited to see what happens now as I Keep Moving Forward